Love Letter To a Troll

Starting a blog is a rush. All of the great people, the praise, love, and encouragement. It feels like a big hug that you never want to end. I keep thinking...why didn't I do this sooner?? Third day in and I should still be in the honeymoon phase, right? I woke up to this message:

"Dear Ms Tiara,
I find it ridiculous when pages like yours blow up in one fucking day. These rabid Mommy Bloggers sure stick together. Your writing is amateur, your humor stale. Just another bitchy page. That has SO been done and I am sick of it. Over a hundred likes in one day from your bitchy girls clubs relentless pimping. Most of us have to work for it. These fake online relationships between women like you disgust me. Do you think that if you died tomorrow any of them would do more than use it as fodder for their next attention seeking post? Not one of them would piss on you if you were on fire. Enjoy your new found fame. Trust me, it will fade as fast as it started."

My first reaction? Of course my brain went into "think up clever snarky comeback" overload. A close second was, "FAME? what the fuck?!" Then I decided to sit on it for a while. I walked the dog, took a bath, read the paper. All of a sudden, I knew exactly what I needed to do. Write my very first troll a love letter.

Dear Ms. Troll,

Thank you for your message. I appreciate the feedback. While you are entitled to your rather nasty opinion, I beg to differ. I thought I would take this opportunity to teach you a bit about women and relationships.

People are always so quick to judge the quality of a relationship based upon where it started. One of my best friends met her husband on an online dating site. To this day, I am one of the ONLY people who know. She finds it embarrassing for some reason. I think she feels that it devalues the quality of their relationship. I call bullshit. If two people meet, connect, form a bond...who cares where it started? If you met your spouse/best friend/yoga instructor online, at a bar, at church, on a singles cruise, in jail....it makes NO difference to me. Love is a gift. Friendship is a gift. Who gives a shit where it originated?

This group of women that you so fondly referenced, are each very different and special in their own way. To lump them into a negatively labeled group is unfair. Each relationship has unique facets and quirks, just like the women that are in them. The first friendship I gained from a blog page was a complete surprise to me. I had found a page that I really liked so, I started reading her archives in my spare time. This lady is incredible. I found myself thinking, "she says all of the things that I feel but am afraid to say". I never commented and kept silent, fearing that I would surely sound like an idiot to someone with such writing savvy. One day, a troll upset her. Without thinking twice, I wrote her an email. I started it with, "Dear Complete Stranger". I told her how her writing touched me and how much I looked forward to the hearty laugh she gave me several times a day. I told her how much I would miss her if she stopped writing. I hesitated slightly before sending it, assuming that it would just be one in a windfall of messages from fans. To my absolute and utter surprise, she posted it on her blog and said lovely things to me. A friendship was born.

My stories with each of these women are different. I have spent MANY hours reading their heartfelt words, feeling their pain, giving encouragement and love whenever I could. Most of all, I have laughed with all of them. A LOT. I consider each of them friends and if they needed help, I would be there in a hot minute. I can say without a doubt, they would do the same for me. That is what defines a friendship, to me. I could care less where we met. I am just truly grateful to have them in my life.

I hope that the next time it occurs to you that you might have fun bashing a new page on a Saturday night, you will reconsider. Your time may be better spent working on not being a total dick. Relationships come in all different shapes and sizes. Even if those relationships do not quite fit into the mold you imagined. Either you choose to love or to hate.

I choose love.

Kisses,
Ms. T